L'esprit de L'escalier
by meqhanory
Summary: "You know nothing, Belle. I don't need a second mother, you know. I said I'm fine, and damn it, I am!" "Who are you trying to convince, exactly? Me and everyone else, or you?" A Red Beauty story. Warning: Major character death.


**so i have been struggling with my other red beauty fic because it takes place in ftl, and if you didn't know, it is pretty challenging to write. still, i want to write more red beauty, so here is this fic. please know though, counting to 100 has not been abandoned. just taking a hiatus while i gather more information to get myself more familiar with ftl. **

**enjoy this fic, my dear readers. a thank you to my beloved beta, deputyswan, as always.**

**warning: major character death**

* * *

It was strange, being in the Pawn Shop on Main Street now. The place was empty and bare, nothing more than a box littered with dust now. The ornaments of past lives had gone to their rightful owners within the five years that the curse had broken. Even acknowledging just how long it had been since the curse had broken was a struggle for Belle. So much had happened within those years, too much for such a short period of time. Finding love once thought lost, then truly losing it, being instated as mayor during the year long absence of the people who were truly looked upon to look over the beloved, mythical town.

_Time passes so quickly._

Sighing thoughtfully, Belle drags her fingers along the dusted glass case where the register once sat. The register had been moved when news of the Dark One being killed had reached the town. It was more to prevent thievery than anything else, but the place truly was not the same without it.

After it had been announced that Rumplestiltskin had died and the Dark One Curse with him, possessions came to be returned to their original owners, now without the need to pay for memories of the past. All magical artifacts were placed within Regina's crypt, since the only people with knowledge of what truly laid beneath her father's grave belonged now only to the Charmings, Neal, and Henry.

It was true, what Ruby had said so few years ago. _"Things are changing now,"_ she had said, voice cheery and full of hope of what such change was entailed for the town and its citizens. Things had changed, and still were. _If only it had been for the better_, Belle thought, letting her eyes fall shut.

Licking her lips and opening her eyes, Belle turned, walking out of the pawn shop and locking it shut behind her. The keys had been given to Belle by Emma after everyone's things had been returned, telling her to use it for storage or whatever she pleased. Rumplestiltskin had written a will on the way to Neverland and, while not certified by this world's standards, everyone who had been on that island agreed that his wishes should be honored.

"_He died saving Henry and Neal,"_ Emma had said, hugging the broken librarian as she broke apart. _"He died being who you always told him he could be."_

The warm sunlight hit her body and Belle sighed happily, closing her eyes and leaning against the door to the abandoned pawn shop, letting the warmth fill her. Three years since she lost her true love, and apparently while it would never stop hurting, it did get easier. No longer did she cry while holding the pillow Rumple had slept with, the scent long gone with it. The clothes he had had hanging in the closet had been donated, now clothing various people around Storybrooke. His tomes and spell books, and even his spinning wheel, were with Regina, being used to help Emma learn magic. No longer did she think she'd seen him walking down the street, or mistake people while in the grocery store. Things had moved on without him, the world had never stopped, and Belle had learned to move with it. Moving to where, now, she was her old self. As much of herself as she could be with something missing.

Moving off the door, Belle began her way down Main Street towards Granny's, thoughts immediately leaving from Rumple. Time had passed, she didn't think of him now unless prompted or unless she was putting books inside the space given to her. Now, her thoughts were trained on what sort of gossip she would be exposed to today, because being friends with Ruby meant one thing: you were always up to date on what was happening in town. Especially now, with Ruby being completely connected to her wolf once more, being able to eavesdrop on all the conversations around the diner was now much simpler.

Waving and smiling at the citizens who acknowledged her, Belle walked into the diner, the heavy scent of grease and Granny's lasagna hitting her as soon as she opened the door. It was part of her daily routine to visit the diner at least once a day, even if to do nothing more to sit and talk with Ruby while she was on her break.

Slipping into her booth, she waited patiently for Ruby, smiling and waving as she walked past her to lay a bill on a customer's table.

"You've got to be kidding me," the man mumbled, shaking his head angrily at the bill before looking up to Ruby. "Seriously? Three bucks for a burger, fries, and a drink?"

Belle watched Ruby sigh, rolling her eyes. "We're not stuck in the eighties anymore, Hank. We have to adjust to the economy and that means a price raise."

"This is ridiculous! You're charging me extra and this is just…" He glared, slamming the bill down. "I'm not paying this. I want the manager, now."

"Granny will tell you the same thing, probably in a way more rude way than I am."

"Better than some filthy wolf telling me."

Her jaw flexed, obviously holding in the words she desperately wanted to say. That or not slap him right across the face.

Thankfully, Granny saw the tension from the window in the back, immediately coming out and relieving Ruby as she angrily began to push the man towards the door.

It was only a minute before a tall glass of iced tea was slid in front of Belle and the tall wolf sat across from her, a wide smile on her lips. "Sorry about that. Had to give Hank his check before I could take my break."

Belle wanted to say something, offer comfort to her friend, but she knew better now. Ruby was used to the comments she'd get about her wolf, as they were so few and far between anyway. Ruby was a live and let live sort of person, not one to care what others think anymore.

"Don't even think about it," Ruby said quickly, eyes narrowed, snapping Belle from her thoughts.

"Think about what?" she said in surprise, eyebrow raised in question.

"Apologizing for Hank. He's been an ass since the curse broke, but he and I have never gotten along. Not even before Storybrooke," she said with a simple shrug, leaning forward and resting her arms on the table.

Taking a sip of her tea, Belle kept her eyebrow raised. "Oh? And why's that? Did you huff and puff?"

"Okay, one, you know I can't talk in wolf form. This isn't a Disney movie." Biting her bottom lip, Ruby let her eyes fall from Belle, suddenly finding the pattern on the table interesting. "Second, sort of. You might remember Hank better from the tale of the three little pigs." Shrugging, Ruby nudged Belle under the table, a small smile playing on her lips. "But you know, I don't think he has room to call me a filthy wolf. He was just eating a hamburger, and it wasn't a turkey one."

Making a face and scrunching her nose, Belle pushed at Ruby's arm, causing her friend to laugh. "That's just disgusting, Ruby."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she mumbled, quickly turning her head to cough harshly into her sleeve.

It was then that Belle noted Ruby's features and the differences from the norm. She was pale, skin almost as white as a ghost. Bags hanged heavily underneath her eyes, still apparent even under multiple layers of thick makeup to cover it up. The wolf looked skinnier, even, as though she had dropped weight suddenly, which was bizarre since wolf's time had just ended and Ruby always talks about how she ate her fill of local deer.

Not only that, but hadn't Ruby been sick last week as well?

Biting her lip, Belle frowned, watching Ruby turn back to her after she had finished her coughing fit. "Are you alright, Ruby? You look a bit under the weather…"

Pursing her lips, Ruby obviously tensed at the question. She had been asked it by everyone, it seemed, and it was becoming more of an annoyance now than anything else. "Yeah, I'm fine Bells. Just a bit sleepy, I guess. Granny has me working double while Ashley is out and Emma is keeping me pretty busy at the sheriff's station."

Nodding slowly, Belle glanced down to her hands, picking at her nails absently. "You were pretty tired last week then, too. And the week before-"

Letting out a heavy sigh that cut Belle off, Ruby leaned back into the cushion of her seat. "Is there a point to this? People get sick, Belle. Even werewolves."

That was a lie, Belle knew. When Belle had been trying to learn more about werewolves as to help Ruby, Ruby had informed her how werewolves, with their fast healing abilities, rarely got ill. It took a lot to put a wolf down enough to where they could be considered sick, even more to kill one.

Still, Belle decided not to call Ruby out on this. Not yet, at least. "I know, I'm just worried is all," she said softly, reaching out and wrapping her hand around Ruby's.

The usually warm skin was almost ice cold, and Ruby must have noticed how Belle flinched to it, because she pulled her hand away just as quickly as it was touched. Standing, Red ran her fingers through her hair before crossing her arms over her chest. "Hey, my break is up. I'll call or text you later, okay? Maybe we can rent a movie or something and have a girls' night."

Smiling slightly, Belle nodded. "I'd like that," she said simply, watching Ruby walk off to the back, the heavy silver doors swinging slightly behind her.

Turning back to her iced tea, Belle sighed, stirring the ice inside the glass absent-mindedly as she felt herself fall into thought again.

Ruby was hiding something, that much she knew. What exactly she wasn't sure, but Ruby had become more irritated with the concern people showed her when she was sick. With how frequently it had become, it was no wonder people would ask. Even Regina had asked Ruby if she had come down with something, only to be laughed at and told it was nothing, just as everyone else had been.

Something was up, Belle knew, but what exactly it was? Belle couldn't even begin to fathom.

* * *

Today was one of many days that the library was bustling with people. By now, Belle was used to it, but she knew it definitely wasn't something that would ever be common in any other town around them. All people craved knowledge, that much is true, but when you live in a town where the day repeats for nearly three decades, you become curious about the world that surrounds you.

The barrier had long been brought down, vanishing after Rumple had passed and the curse of the Dark One had passed. While most residents had stayed, people did leave for vacations and to explore things that would never be understood in their world. So, they would come to the library, flipping through the literature of past people of this world and what it was now.

Today however, it wasn't the future tourists that lined the shelves of the library. Instead, it was a number of school children, all clustered in different sections to do their research. Projects, especially in the history and science departments, from the local schools were very popular now, especially ones without the internet being a source of choice.

Belle didn't mind, of course. She was happy to be busy helping the students. Except today they all seemed to know where to go and what they needed, as she hadn't been bothered except once or twice when a student couldn't reach a certain book and needed Belle's assistance. Even then though, she was content, listening to the sound of mumbled words and pencils across paper as she flipped through her own book.

While this world's view of werewolves wasn't entirely off from what Ruby had told Belle, some things were pretty inaccurate. Still though, perhaps one of these books help the knowledge of what was going on with Ruby or why she refused to discuss it with her.

"I'd think you'd just ask Ruby about that sort of thing."

The voice causes Belle to jump, putting down her book and looking up to see who spoke to her. Upon seeing Snow's smiling face though, Belle couldn't help but laugh, slightly embarrassed.

"You'd think," she agrees, shaking her head as she gestures to the chair across her desk for Snow to sit. "But apparently some things she won't let me know."

Nodding, Snow laughs slightly. "So you turn a book of mythical creatures written by people who know nothing about them?"

Sighing, Belle buries her face in her hands, shaking her head. "Stupid, I know, even if Ruby says most information that the people of this world know is accurate." Frowning slightly, Belle shrugs absently. "I just don't know where else to find the answer, anymore. Books always seem to know these things though."

Furrowing her brows, Snow places her hands in her lap, tilting her head in confusion. "Why would Red not tell you something? She tells you more than me, these days," she said with an airy, light laugh.

"I don't know. I've just been really worried, and I suppose it annoyed her how much people have been asking her how she's feeling." Leaning on the desk, she rested her head in her hand, staring absently as her thoughts fell from her lips. "She's just been sick so often ever since she's gotten her wolf back is all…"

She feels Snow shift more than she sees or hears it, but when Snow does, Belle immediately looks up to her, brows furrowed. "You know something."

Snow frowns, sighing as she shakes her head. "Specifically? No. However, I have noticed how ill she's become. I'm sure everyone has, especially with how long it's been going on."

Belle immediately slumps in defeat, seemingly back to square one on her hunt to discover what exactly was wrong with her friend and what she wasn't being told.

Reaching over across the desk, Snow took the hand Belle was not using to support her head, squeezing gently. "You're on the right track, though. That much I know."

Raising an eyebrow, Belle locked eyes with the once queen, "How can you be so sure?"

"Well, this never happened until the first full moon, right? And as far as I know, Ruby wasn't even sick when she was, well, Ruby and not Red." Shrugging, Snow leans back into her seat. "It has to be her wolf. After all, magic doesn't exist in this world, right?"

Nodding, Belle frowned, because if Snow was right, and a large part of Belle knew she was, this was definitely not a good thing. "What should we do?"

"We?" Snow asked, eyebrow raised. "Oh no, I'm not dealing with her during wolf's time. I'm her best friend and I love her to death, but not even I risk playing with that kind of fire."

Smirking, Belle rolled her eyes. "And you're saying I do?"

Offering her hands up as a sign of surrender, Snow laughed. "Well, yes. But the difference is, when you play with it, you have a tendency not to get burned."

* * *

It took until the library had closed for the evening for Belle to decide whether or not she would go and wait to talk to Ruby. She knew she had to find out what was going on with Ruby, since she had to know what was wrong with her, right? It had to be the reason why Ruby snapped or rolled her eyes to any person who asked if she was alright or if she was sick.

The librarian had been sitting outside of Granny's for the past three hours, waiting for Ruby's shift to end. Even if Ruby was working twice the shifts, Belle still knew the wolf's schedule almost as well as her own. They had become so close within this time, especially after Rumple died, Belle knew nearly everything about her best friend. The descriptive word of choice being 'nearly' because of their current situation.

If Belle were to be honest, their relationship truly had shifted drastically since Henry was rescued in Neverland. She wasn't sure what it was, but their friendship, it was something more. Ruby had always been more, granted, but there was something that had changed. She didn't know what, but the feelings and emotions shared between her and the wolf had changed. How though, she hadn't understood, still didn't, and probably never would.

The bell from the door of Granny's rang into the air of the autumn night, causing Belle to look over, hoping it was Ruby.

"Hey, I saw you sitting out here from inside… Is there a reason why you're out here and not inside?"

Chuckling softly, Belle shrugged, looking away from her friend and up to the stars. Even though in a town, it was amazing just how many stars they could see. It almost reminded her of her view from her room in her castle in the Enchanted Forest. "Just… Enjoying the night, I guess."

"You're a terrible liar," Ruby said with a grin. Shrugging, the wolf walked over and sat next to Belle, leaning back into the cool wood of the bench and gazing up into the stars. She sighed in content, letting her hand fall and grip Belle's tangling their fingers together. The once icy hands seemed warm now, but Belle wasn't sure if it was truly Ruby's body that had made them warm rather than working in the back with the stove.

"It's beautiful tonight," Ruby mumbles, eyes trailing from the stars to the moon. "Hopefully it's this nice next week, during the full moon…"

Belle hums, eyes locking onto the moon. "Yes, hopefully." Her mind began to think back to what Snow had said at the library earlier, how Ruby's illness, or whatever was wrong with her, probably had to deal with her wolf.

"What're you thinking about?"

Turning her head slightly, Belle chuckled. "Is it that obvious?"

Scoffing, Ruby rolled her eyes, laughing, "Belle, please. I can practically hear you thinking."

"Pretty sure you can't do that, even with your wolf senses," Belle said with a grin, shaking her head before squeezing Ruby's hand gently. "I guess I'm just thinking about something Snow said earlier."

Nodding slowly, Ruby nudged Belle's shoulder. "Alright then, go on. Don't keep me on a cliff hanger, here."

Biting her bottom lip, Belle let her eyes fall from Ruby, instead letting them fall to their hands. She was silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to put her words together without annoying Ruby once again. However, her silence was long enough for Ruby to know whatever was about to come from Belle's lips.

"Damn it, Belle," she hissed, untangling their fingers and pulling her hand away. "I told you, and everyone else, I'm fine. _Seriously_."

Sighing, Belle shut her eyes, trying to keep from snapping herself and calling Ruby out on the lies she had already told her. "Ruby, I'm just worried. Would you just-"

"Would I just what? Belle, really now. I'd tell you if something was wrong. Come on, you know I would."

"Yes, I agree, you would," she agreed, opening her eyes to lock them with the wolf. "Unless it had to deal with your wolf."

Squaring her jaw, Ruby crossed her arms over her chest, turning her gaze away from the librarian beside her. Belle was right, Ruby knew that, but like hell she'd admit it. "I told you, I am fine."

Smacking her hand down onto the wood, Belle felt the last of her patience run out. "I know you're not!"

"You know nothing, Belle," Ruby hissed, turning to glare are her before standing abruptly. "I don't need a second mother, you know. I said I'm fine, and damn it, I am!" The denial rang so loud between them, not even Ruby could believe her own words at this second.

Standing, Belle moved into Ruby's space. "Who are you trying to convince, exactly? Me and everyone else, or _you_?" she growled, poking her finger hard into Ruby's chest.

Gritting her jaw, Ruby's hands balled into tight fists. "You know what? If all you're going to do is constantly bug and annoy me with this, then honestly, I don't know why you're here to begin with."

"You know, at this point, I don't know either."

Shaking her head, Ruby turned, walking back towards the door of the diner. "Well, then why don't you just leave? Don't you have an empty pawn shop to put crap in?"

It was a low blow, Ruby knew it, but it would be enough to get Belle away from her before Ruby said something she would regret even more so. So, watching Belle's tense position slump into one that the wolf wasn't even sure how she was standing, the wolf turned and walked back into the diner, the bell ringing all too loudly in her ear.


End file.
